Bleach Porn Story: Sink Into Me

Chapter 11

The first thing Soi Fon felt was fire, that familiar burn in her body that told her she’d been wounded. Memory rushed back as she groaned and opened her eyes blearily, only to be greeted with a cold, blue stare. Her eye snapped open as she took in the fact that she was back in her tent, she was feeling considerably better now than she had felt when she was last conscious and that Grimmjow Jeagerjacques was staring at her with an unusual expression, one so far removed from the norm that it was starting to worry her.

What the fuck?

Clearing her throat, Soi Fon croaked, “What did I miss?”

His eyes narrowed. “Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Carefully sitting up, Soi Fon winced as she stretched. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Grimmjow’s voice may have sounded light and conversational, but there was something underneath that was putting her on edge. “Think, Captain. Think real hard.”

She hissed as her stomach muscles pulled. “Damn it, Grimmjow, I’m in a little too much pain for guessing games.”

“Well, then I’ll help you”, he replied, the strange expression still on his face as his gaze bored into her. “Why are you in pain?”

“What the – I was fucking poisoned, you ass! You were there, did you forget already?” She could almost tell what the emotion he was suppressing was, if he’d just…

“Close, Captain, but no cigar. And I certainly haven’t forgotten. You’re hurt because you rammed Suzumebachi through your innards.”

“Of course I did!” She retorted hotly. She’d never heard him so controlled and cold. It was like he’d completely shut down, and the thought was terrifying her. This cool, restrained, mocking voice wasn’t Grimmjow. Worse, he was calling her ‘Captain’, of all things. “How the hell else was I supposed to survive? Suzumebachi heals me when I’ve been poisoned – “

“And that might’ve been helpful to know before you committed seppuku right in fucken front of me!” He roared, “Did it occur to you that it could be a good idea to let me know ’bout that one, or were you pullin’ a Captain-Commander an’ keepin’ that shit for a need-to-know basis?”

A chill ran through Soi Fon that had nothing to do with temperature. Now she knew what he was holding back – simmering, explosive rage. And yet – “But I showed you all my release! I explained to the whole division”, she cried out. “Surely you – “

“When?”

“Wha – “

“When did you give that informative lil’ demonstration?”

“I – ” Soi Fon stopped, the blood draining from her face as she realised, before finishing in a whisper. “I gave it before the war.”

“Precisely.” He was back to being cold once more. “And that did fuck all to help me figure out why my captain was set on dismembering herself.”

It was too much, to wake up from that battle to this. She almost felt like crying, which proved that she must be exhausted, as it was a weakness she’d not indulged in for centuries. Fighting back the lump in her throat, she whispered, “Grimmjow, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know – “

“Of course you didn’t know”, he spat out, before chuckling mirthlessly, shaking his head. “You never fucken know.”

Before she could ask him what he meant by that, he was up and leaving. “Fuck this. I’ll tell Nel you’re up.”

She got up, trying to follow him, only to gasp and slump back down as her abused body protested against sudden movement. “Grimm, wait!”

Soi Fon wasn’t sure if it was her pained gasp that stopped him, or her request, but he halted and looked back at her. Any words she’d planned to say vanished as she looked into his eyes. She’d seen those bright blue beacons burn when they were together, she’d seen them sparkle when he’d teased her or when he fought, and she’d seen them harden as the looked over the carnage of battle. She had never seen them like this, though. So many emotions seemed to course through those eyes, and Soi Fon didn’t have a single clue as to what any of them were. All she knew was that they were the stormy eyes of a man at breaking point and that looking into them was taking away her ability to breathe.

He broke contact with a hiss, storming out of the tent, and it was all Soi Fon could do not to risk unavoidable agony to try and chase after him.

Oh Kami, he had no idea. He thought I – Oh Kami, I feel sick.

He hates me for this, I know it. And he has every right to, as well. I should’ve told him, not only as his captain, but as his… whatever the hell we are to each other.

Fighting back her tears, a further thought occurred to Soi Fon.

We’re through, aren’t we? He won’t even want to look at me after this, let alone… And he’ll want to transfer, too. I won’t get to see him…

Rustling at the front of the tent indicated that Soi Fon was about to be joined by her fellow captain, and right now she wasn’t sure she could deal with even Nel’s gentle reproach. Rolling over and closing her eyes, she feigned sleep just as Nel came in to look her over. Sinking into her own miserable thoughts, the sheer irony hit her when she realised that, while she had longed to be rid of her lieutenant six months ago, the thought now horrified her and made her feel unbearably lonely.

How the fuck did everything get this screwed up?

xXx

Neliel Tu Oderschvank was many things – Captain of the Gotei 13, former Third Espada, bearer of a ridiculous surname – but one thing she was not was stupid, especially when it came to other people and their feelings. She suspected it had a lot to do with being friends with Rangiku Matsumoto, the Seireitei relationship expert, and possibly was also related to the fact that she was in a relationship with a practised stoic – a man who hadn’t known he actually possessed feelings until he’d run into her – and had learned to pick up on even his subtle changes in mood.

Either way, it was fairly obvious to her that something was going on between Grimmjow and his captain. She’d watched the two of them grow closer both physically and emotionally, despite Soi Fon’s efforts to keep them apart, and she had to admit that they worked well together. It was nice to see Grimm in a good mood and, better still, occupied and out of Ulquiorra’s hair (Ulquiorra had admitted to her recently that he didn’t really mind Grimmjow’s presence, even going so far as to admit he found their conversations amusing. Of course, he’d immediately followed that up hastily by adding that it was strictly in small doses, but she still figured it was a step forward). However, it was clear that either one or both of them were holding back.

Judging from the fact that Grimmjow had already swallowed his pride and talked to her about his feelings for his captain (and had proceeded to be laughed at by Ulquiorra), she knew it wasn’t him. She’d had enough chats with Rangiku about the topic to gather that Soi Fon had some hefty emotional baggage, which made sense, but, Kami-damn it, she was not about to see her friend hurt, even if the woman had such sizable issues that they made Aizen’s ego look puny in comparison.

Nel knew that love could make you oblivious – she’d experienced that first hand. That, however, was the only reason that she hadn’t tried to smack some sense into both of them. It was obvious that they both cared for each other, and even more obvious that it hadn’t even occurred to them to be honest with one another about their feelings. Hell, she didn’t even think Soi Fon had realised that her feelings for Grimmjow went deeper than just lust. She had to roll her eyes at that. She liked Soi Fon, and she liked her even better for Grimm, but this was just getting silly. One of them had to re-initiate contact, and since Grimm had taken himself off to shot cero at anything in his path and yell expletives for the last few nights, it was going to have to be up to Soi Fon.

And so, standing in front of Soi Fon’s tent, Nel tried to steel herself for what was about to come.

It was time they had a little chat.

xXx

After three days of curling into a little ball and feeling sorry for herself, Soi Fon realised that she was moping.

Worse – she was moping over Grimmjow Jeagerjacques.

Even worse – not even that knowledge could motivate her enough to stop.

She couldn’t figure out why this was happening. Sure, she had just lost herself the best lieutenant she ever had, but that wasn’t it. She’d also lost herself the best fuck-buddy, but that shouldn’t induce this feeling either. Maybe it was the combination of these two attributes…

As she heard the tent unzip, she swiftly closed her eyes and relaxed, letting herself breathe slowly and carefully. It was a perfect imitation of sleep, and just when she thought she’d pulled it off –

“You know, watching you pretend to sleep gets old really fast.”

Soi Fon’s eyes snapped open, and she turned to stare at Nel, who was smiling at her gently. Finally getting her bearings, Soi Fon murmured, “How long have you known I was faking?”

Nel’s smile turned wry. “From the start.”

“Oh.” Apparently her pretence at sleep had not been as effective as she had thought. “Why have you been letting me get away with it?”

Seating herself on Grimmjow’s side of the tent and crossing her legs, Nel sighed. “You gave us all quite a scare, you know.”

Soi Fon winced. “So I heard.”

With a nod, Nel replied. “Yeah, I think they heard back in the Seireitei too. Look, Grimm’s mad at you, but mostly he was terrified. We all were, sure, but he – well, let’s just say I’d never seen him look the slightest bit afraid of anything until you decided to un-poison yourself in a very novel fashion.” She paused, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You were out for two days. He never left your side the whole time. Hell, I don’t even think he slept.”

Soi Fon’s eyes widened as she took this in. Her first instinct was to argue about just how un-Grimmjow-like that story sounded, but she couldn’t help but think of so many strange, oddly sweet moments – drunken compliments, honour defending, protectiveness – that seemed to indicate that, on the contrary, that was just what Grimmjow would do.

Which alarmed her. What they had did not lend itself to actions like this, or the feeling that usually prompted them. It was almost as if… As if he cared for her.

Ridiculous, of course. Grimmjow was the Seireitei’s resident playboy; he’d hardly be interested in someone like her for something more long term than their current arrangement. And even in the unlikely event that he was…

No, I don’t need to panic. It only becomes a problem if my feelings get entangled. I made it clear to Grimmjow what this was at the start, if he chooses to ignore that I’ll regret hurting him, but hurt him I will. I remain indifferent.

Shoving to the back of her mind that voice that pointed out that indifferent people tended not to mope for days on end over the objects of their indifference, Soi Fon emerged from her reverie to meet Nel’s gaze.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Nel sighed. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but we need to be able to work together on this. We’re going into Las Noches soon and going in there bickering is going to get us killed. You need to apologise to Grimm – “

“I tried that already!”

“You also need to let me finish. He’s had a bit of a chance to cool off, so chances are he’ll be more receptive. You scared him, and guys like him don’t take well to being scared, but he’ll come around.” Nel smiled once more and got up, offering her hand. “So, what are you waiting for?”

Biting back several replies (the apocalypse, hell to freeze over, Kenpachi Zaraki as backup), Soi Fon clasped hands with her, only to be energetically pulled to her feet and out of the tent. Ulquiorra, who had been sitting by the fire, turned to regard them as they emerged.

Nel gave him a grin and the corner of his lips twitched in response. He shifted to look at Soi Fon as she scanned the campsite looking confused.

“He’s not here.” Ulquiorra thought it best to enlighten her. “The last few days he’s been ostensibly scouting, though in reality it’s more railing at the heavens and incinerating all he sees.”

Soi Fon wheeled to glare at Nel. “Cooled off?”

The other woman looked sheepish. “With Grimmjow it’s sort of a relative term. And Ulquiorra – tactless much?”

He shrugged. “You want tact, call a tactician. I figured she was better off informed.”

Taking a deep breath, Soi Fon interjected. “What direction?”

At that moment, the distant sounds of explosion echoed through the air. Soi Fon had her answer. Nodding to both her companions, she flashed away.

Shaking her head, Nel muttered to herself, “There’s no middle ground to those two. They’re either going to come back totally fine with each other, or in pieces.”

She looked up at Ulquiorra and her eyes narrowed at a familiar glint in his eyes. “If you even think the phrase ‘win-win situation’…”

He chuckled. “Not what I was thinking, but nice try.”

She snorted, not appeased. “You’ve got that look in your eye, though.”

Snaking an arm around her waist, he pulled her close to him and, brushing the hair back from her ear, whispered, “This isn’t a ‘potential Grimmjow pain’ look. This is a ‘we have the camp to ourselves’ look.”

A wide smile spread across her face as she turned to look at him. Reaching up to thread her fingers through his hair, she queried, “So it seems. Any suggestions?”

“Many”, Ulquiorra replied, as he leaned forward to claim her lips with his own.

xXx

Grimmjow was not a happy camper and, for once, the fact that he hated camping had nothing to do with it. No, it was the knowledge that he was in too deep, the frustration he felt for his current situation that was the problem. He was furious, but not just with Bee. Something had changed for him after the vasto lorde’s attack. Hell, maybe it hadn’t even changed – maybe he’d just realised it for the first time. The point was, as he had watched Soi Fon drive her weapon into her stomach, his heart had stopped. Or, rather, the point was, in those brief moments when he’d thought she was dead, he’d welcomed that stop.

This was not good. This was beyond attached, beyond like. He was –

With a roar, he shot a cero into one of the lifeless trees.

Unbe-fucken-lievable. I’m in love. Me – Grimmjow fucken Jeagerjacques! It’s like a fucken cosmic joke. I’m in love with the one woman in the Soul Society who’s better at keeping her emotions out of relationships than I am. No wonder Ulquiorra fucken laughed.

Deciding that cero wasn’t quite cutting it, Grimmjow slammed his fist into the trunk of his tree victim. Ignoring the pain that shot up his arm, he continued raining blows down on it.

I thought we were improving. Hell, we had conversations – actual fucken conversations. But no, she didn’t even tell me about Suzumebachi. Not even as a fucken lieutenant, let alone… She don’t trust me. Even better, she doesn’t feel the need to trust me. After all, I’m just a quick fuck.

Can’t believe I sound like a fucken whiny bitch. Soon as I get back home, I’m getting Kenpachi to beat the emo out of me. And I’m getting drunk – so drunk I won’t even remember who I am, let alone who she is.

Che, it’d be the best fucken plan ever, except for the part where it ain’t gonna work. Forgetting Bee… It ain’t gonna happen.

Fuck.

“Don’t tell me. The fake tree was looking at you funny.” The voice was more tentative than he was used to, but it was still unmistakable. He straightened up, twisting to face her as he kept his face carefully blank.

“Captain.” His voice was cool, just short of icy.

Soi Fon flinched, and something in her face seemed to crumble. “Grimmjow, I – Oh Kami, Grimmjow, I didn’t know! You have to believe that. I was so sure you knew, it never occurred to me that – ” She broke off. It was so damned hard to breathe with him staring at her like that. She gasped in air, only to be horrified as it sounded suspiciously like a sob. Which was just mad. She never cried – not even when Lady Yoruichi had left. “I’m sorry. I am so, so – ” Suddenly her difficulty breathing had less to do with looking at him and more to do with the fact that she was being held so tightly it almost hurt. She rested her face against his chest as he curled a hand in her hair, discreetly drying her eyes (not that they were wet) against his shirt. Above her, she heard his husky voice as he finally responded.

“I know, Bee. I know you didn’t mean it. It’s all right.”

Grimmjow felt like bashing his head against something solid. It was not all right. He’d had a speech planned out, one in which he got the hell out of this damn situation before she realised how he felt and pushed him away herself. Between bouts of swearing the air as blue as his hair and blasting everything in sight he’d even practiced it and it had all fallen apart the second he’d seen her looking so miserable. He was an idiot. Worse – he couldn’t bring himself to care.

With a rush of sonido he had her pinned against the tree he had been attacking only moments before, his lips crushed against hers. He kissed her like a desperate man, but he was past giving a fuck about that. All he could think of was that he could’ve lost her, and that he was damned if he was going to let that happen again. They pulled apart, both breathless, and Grimmjow ran his thumb over her cheek.

“Bee?”

“Yes?”

“One request.”

He didn’t hate her. At this point, she was up for giving him anything. “Name it.”

His eyes bore into hers. “Just don’t ever scare me like that again.”

She gulped and nodded. “Believe me, I don’t plan to.”

He let out a relieved sigh, before grinning at her and, reaching forward, picked her up and started walking back to camp.

Soi Fon began to squawk, “What the – “

“You shouldn’t be up so soon, not after that shit. I mean, sure Bee, I get that you couldn’t stand another second without me, but really…”

He was calling her Bee again, she realised, and she could kiss him for it. Better yet, she thought as they returned to camp, she would do just that.

xXx

Several hours later, Soi Fon slipped out of Grimmjow’s very determined grasp, having successfully disentangled herself without waking him, and began to ready herself to go on watch. Stretching out several muscles that had gotten quite the workout in the last few hours (Grimmjow had apparently missed her almost as much as she’d missed him), she strode outside, taking Nel’s perch in one of the ‘trees’ with a smile as she stared out across the forest canopy, alone with her thoughts.

It was a relief to be back on good terms with Grimmjow. It had been a wrench seeing his typically playful manner disappear, only to be replaced with cold, polite indifference, and she never wanted that side of Grimmjow aimed her way again. She didn’t think she’d ever been so glad to hear him call her Bee before. He’d accepted her apology, he’d forgiven her and, almost as if to celebrate, he’d gone straight back into teasing her and she’d loved him for it.

Soi Fon’s brain screeched to a halt.

Loved him – no, it’s just an expression. Just an expression, right? Because I’m not that stupid, I know that way lies madness. I know better than to get involved, or –

Unbidden, memories flooded into her head – Grimmjow’s eyes lighting up when he teased her, his laugh when she threw him out of the office, him slurring out that she was pretty, the way he tugged on his hair when he was thinking, the way he grinned wickedly when they were fighting. As Suzumebachi muttered something along the lines of ‘comes the dawn’, Soi Fon realised something crucial.

She was in love with Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. Completely and totally.

This was not good.

Kami, how could I have been so stupid? This is an unmitigated fucking disaster! How am I supposed to explain this? No – I can’t tell him. We agreed to keep things strictly casual: I break that rule and he’s gone. Oh Kami, what have I done?

With the look of a woman who was shell-shocked, Soi Fon stared out into space, her mind racing and utterly preoccupied.

So preoccupied, in fact, that it wasn’t until the darts embedded themselves in her throat that she noticed them.

The sting brought her back to reality as she ripped the projectiles out of her skin and whipped around, drawing Suzumebachi from her sheath as she faced three figures. The leader stepped forward, brown hair gleaming slightly in the moonlight as it flopped forward over his eye-patch. He looked pointedly at her zanpakuto. “Somehow, I don’t think you’ll be doing too much with that.”

With a growl, Soi Fon opened her mouth to reply, but stopped dead as she glanced at her sword.

Suzumebachi was disintegrating before her very eyes.

Cold fear gripped her as she looked back at her attackers, now all in the moonlight where she could see them. One of them, indeed, was all too familiar.

“Akon”, she croaked.

As a shinigami, Akon had had small horns protruding from his forehead. Now, as an Espada, if the gothic eight tattooed on his hand was anything to go by, they were longer, as the broken mask covered them and extended upward into the sky. He smiled coldly. “Captain Soi Fon. I’m so pleased you remember me.”

She spat at his feet, and his smile widened. “What have you done to me?”

The leader ignored her, in favour of the scantily clad woman beside him. “This would be the fact-finding mission He warned us about. Can you sense any others, Loly?”

She scowled. “Three, Tesla. And one of them the bastard who gave me this.” She motioned to the nasty scar on her exposed abdomen.

Tesla shook his head. “Schiffer does not concern us. When Devega did not return, we were given specific orders – capture one, and only fight if stealth fails. Your petty grudge will have to wait.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Petty? He impaled me with my own damn sword and left me attached to the wall! You think – “

“Loly”, he snapped. “What is your rank?”

“Tesla – “

“Your rank, Loly.”

Sullenly, she muttered, “Ninth.”

“And mine?” He continued.

Even more surlily, she replied, “Fifth.”

“Precisely.”

Akon, during this exchange, continued smiling at Soi Fon in a way that was starting to frighten her even more, an expression she remembered from when Mayuri Kurotsuchi would receive new test subjects. Leaning forward, the Espada whispered conspiratorially, “My master was a brilliant man, Captain Soi Fon. This particular chemical from the darts is a compound – one part a basic sedative and the other a drug specifically created to suppress reiatsu. Better yet, he left us such detailed notes about the individual reiatsus of the Gotei 13, so it was easy to tailor this to you. I can only regret that my master died before discovering how to make the drug’s effects long-term, but we’ll be sure to keep you with a steady supply. Face it, shinigami. You are helpless.”

Tesla nodded, before ordering, “Akon, Loly. Pick her up. We want to be back before dawn.” He stared at Soi Fon, considering her mutinous face. “Akon, hit her with another sedative first.”

Before Soi Fon could react, a needle was jabbed into her arm and she was simultaneously lifted up and thrown into darkness.

This is really not my night…